Ohmigod, Ohmigod You Guys....

I have found something that I am never erasing from my dvr. First the first time in years, MTV actually aired something I was looking forward to: Legally Blonde The Musical. I've posted here before about how much the gayrab and I enjoyed the show when we saw it this summer, but I really forgot how great it is. I'm sorry Ben Brantley; but you are cranky, cranky man. I love this show so much. and now, thanks to MTV, it's available whenever I want. If you live in New York, go see the show (TV can not substitute for live theatre after all) but if you don't, record the next time it airs- this one's a keeper. Not convinced? I give you the lyrics to "There! Right There!"
(You read-I'm going to go watch the finale of the first act again.) :
There! Right There!
Elle:
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Calahan:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?
Emmett:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks.
Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.
Calahan:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Elle:
What are we seeing?
Calahan:
Is he gay?
Elle:
Of course he's gay.
Calahan:
Or European?
All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?
Warner:
Well, hey don't look at me.
Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Elle:
Oh please.
All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Eden:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro-hetro jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Elle:
Is automatically-radically
Calahan:
ironically-cronically
Vivian:
scurtinly-curtainly
Warner:
genetically-netically
All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMMIT
Gay or European?
Calahan:
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Calahan:
I think his chest is waxed.
Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on saturday.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Gay or european?

Basic Cable Recommendation: TWO-A-DAYS

After an evening of cardio and Junior's, Roommate and I were pretty tuckered out, so we flopped down on the sofa to see what was on TV. I saw teenage boys in tight pants on MTV, so naturally the remote was snatched. Now, I guess I'd seen Two-A-Days, MTV's reality series about an Alabama high school football team, at the gym once or twice before, but this was my first time ever really WATCHING-watching it. Well. Yum.

I don't know why MTV doesn't just stick to what they do best: making self-indulgent documentary series for a certain affluent, narcissistic portion of the population. They need to have fewer goddamn Fergie-Ferg videos and more of this shit, because it is ILLUMINATING.

First of all, I am always hot in the biscuit for shows about spoiled, ridiculous suburban kids, because- Hello. My life. Also, Leigh and I come from a town that had a killer (and relatively well-known) athletics program, so the whole 'jocks gone wild' element of it speaks to me as well. BUT THEN when you add the whole novelty of their ludicrous accents and lame-ass Southern ways... It's just a can't-miss. Love it.

Some highlights from the twenty-or-so minutes we watched:

1. Three girls went to a tarot card reader, and two out of the three ended up crying. Obviously, all of them asked about their marriage prospects. They're all, like, seventeen.
2. One jock gave his girlfriend, totally unprovoked, a crimson peacoat and then was miffed when she wasn't as appreciative as he would have liked.
3. An on-the-field brawl with an opposing team.
4. The same jock who gave his girlfriend the coat calls her "stupid" in front of her mother, while the mother sits there, wide-eyed, petting a dog.
5. An ominous tone is set for the next episode, when Hoover will square off against their longtime rival.

I mean, I'm kind of addicted. It's like the high school experiences of people from our hometown, but with enough difference and distance to make it just totally anthropologically exciting.

VERDICT: Hotness.

Happy Friday! KEVIN :-)