First and foremost, allow me to express my deepest sympathy. Poor Jerry Orbach. His wisecracks brought pleasure to a decade of "Law & Order" Although I might add he won a tony for orginating the role of Billy Flynn in Chicago (to which I'm sure Richard Gere does not hold a candle.)Ofcourse, he's going to be immortal not only in re-runs, but as the father in Dirty Dancing and (my personal favorite) the voice of Lumiere the Candlestick in Beauty and the Beast. Oh man. I am heartbroken.
Next, I would like to give a shout out the Marine Air Terminal at Laguardia. Normally I loathe it's existance, but this morning it provided me with the following:
A re-run of "Regis & Kelly" that offered not only Adam Brody, but a showstopping performance by the Scissor Sisters which caused Regis to say "Well, that was um, WELL!" and Rolling Stone, which offered me the following tidbits of joy:
Jon Stewart using the word "schadenfreude" not once, but twice.
"Genious is not a word I would use for Bush" -Tom Brokaw.
On Ashlee Simpson blaming her band for the SNL snafu "Hon, Don't they have to suffer enough indignity on a daily basis by admitting they're in your band?".
Zach Braff cries on Sundays while watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (Zach my friend, you are not alone)
Macy Grey and ODB did a cover of "Dont Go Breakin' my Heart" How we all don't already have that in our ipods, i'm not quite sure.
I'm not going to discuss my beautiful tattoo until it properly photographed, except to say that none of you bastards picked up when i called you WHILE BEING TATTOOED. jerkfaces. (Joe, I did not call you because you never pick up in the first place)
I'm watching "Shattered Glass" which reminds of something; and that something is Mike's face upon seeing Peter Sarsgaard naked in Kinsey. There aren't actually words for that, so I'll leave you with this instead
Chris O'Donnell calls his wife "my little pricknibbler" which causes Mike to gasp.
Me: What, you don't like to nibble pricks?
Mike: NO. CHOMP.
Good Day to you all.-Lethal, back in the DC.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Christmas is the spookiest time of the year.
Did everyone have a nice Christmas?? I hope so. I did. It was nice. I love a relaxing little stay on Long Island. It allows to appreciate the abject trashiness of where I come from (in both the senses of place and people).
Anyway, the real story is that my mother hosted our family on Saturday and my parents' friends on Sunday. This resulted in an unreasonable amount of work for such a trim woman. Did she fold under the pressure? Probably not, but it was spotty for a few moments, such as when she served our guests uncooked shrimp and when, while standing in front of an open oven, platter or broccoli in front of her, bag of Sorrento mild cheddar in hand, she flailed at it, held it out to me, and with heartbreak in her eyes, said, "I don't know who designs these bags."
I replied, "Mother, I think I'd like to design cheese bags."
"NOT NOW," she barked as cheese flew across our oven.
Anyway, I love Christmas, and I hope the joy of the season (THE VERY SECULAR JOY OF THE SEASON, that is) finds its way into the cockles of all your hearts, dear readers.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tend to my black baby.
Kevin.
PS-- I'd just like to salute Wee Iconis for being the best storyteller who ever lived. Last night, she told a story that lasted about half an hour and spanned topics including moonshine, burning down houses, choking on bones, Wee being put in jail at age 19 months, Norma Shearer's personal secretary, and Barry Goldwater. I love her.
Anyway, the real story is that my mother hosted our family on Saturday and my parents' friends on Sunday. This resulted in an unreasonable amount of work for such a trim woman. Did she fold under the pressure? Probably not, but it was spotty for a few moments, such as when she served our guests uncooked shrimp and when, while standing in front of an open oven, platter or broccoli in front of her, bag of Sorrento mild cheddar in hand, she flailed at it, held it out to me, and with heartbreak in her eyes, said, "I don't know who designs these bags."
I replied, "Mother, I think I'd like to design cheese bags."
"NOT NOW," she barked as cheese flew across our oven.
Anyway, I love Christmas, and I hope the joy of the season (THE VERY SECULAR JOY OF THE SEASON, that is) finds its way into the cockles of all your hearts, dear readers.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tend to my black baby.
Kevin.
PS-- I'd just like to salute Wee Iconis for being the best storyteller who ever lived. Last night, she told a story that lasted about half an hour and spanned topics including moonshine, burning down houses, choking on bones, Wee being put in jail at age 19 months, Norma Shearer's personal secretary, and Barry Goldwater. I love her.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, Frohliche Weinacten,Shinnen omedeto, and Nollaig chridheil dear readers!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
"Linus & Lucy" is playing on the Weather Channel...
...and that makes me so happy.
Anyway, please look below to see some photos from this weekend that I really wanted to share. I hope you find them as fun as I find them titilating. Especially that one of Mama B. and a rib. JUICY!!
Hey Leigh... Kate says she's sorry that she'll miss you on New Years (when you'll be in DC).
So apparently "Parenthood" is on Turner Classic Movies. Kate's upset. Does this mean that TCM is going the way of AMC?? I do think that the definition of "classic" is being rim-jiggled a little bit. "The Birdcage" is on AMC all the time, though, which is cool. That movie is a classic. So maybe it's just movies with Dianne Wiest? Maybe? "Footloose" could be/should be next.
Hey Leigh again... Regarding your HILARIOUS perfume dialogue (good job, girl!), I'd just like to bitch slap Britney's mangers for a moment. They OK'd the name of her fragrance being Curious??
"The smell of Britney Spears is... Curious."
"When you think of the smell of Britney, think of the word... Curious."
"Britney smells Curious... down below."
They've left her wide open to mockery. Didn't anyone tell her that this was a bad idea?? That, dear Leigh, is truly Curious.
Also, if you had a smell, it would be called Entrapment. Mike would be called Andy Rooney. (groan)
Sleepytime.
KEVIN :-)
Anyway, please look below to see some photos from this weekend that I really wanted to share. I hope you find them as fun as I find them titilating. Especially that one of Mama B. and a rib. JUICY!!
Hey Leigh... Kate says she's sorry that she'll miss you on New Years (when you'll be in DC).
So apparently "Parenthood" is on Turner Classic Movies. Kate's upset. Does this mean that TCM is going the way of AMC?? I do think that the definition of "classic" is being rim-jiggled a little bit. "The Birdcage" is on AMC all the time, though, which is cool. That movie is a classic. So maybe it's just movies with Dianne Wiest? Maybe? "Footloose" could be/should be next.
Hey Leigh again... Regarding your HILARIOUS perfume dialogue (good job, girl!), I'd just like to bitch slap Britney's mangers for a moment. They OK'd the name of her fragrance being Curious??
"The smell of Britney Spears is... Curious."
"When you think of the smell of Britney, think of the word... Curious."
"Britney smells Curious... down below."
They've left her wide open to mockery. Didn't anyone tell her that this was a bad idea?? That, dear Leigh, is truly Curious.
Also, if you had a smell, it would be called Entrapment. Mike would be called Andy Rooney. (groan)
Sleepytime.
KEVIN :-)
Eau de Tannenbaum
So, on Instant Messenger you can add "SantaClaus" to your buddy list, and when you Im him, he offers you a christmas tree icon. Now this is a "supericon" so it reacts to what you are typing. (if you laugh, it laughs, if you write 'cool' it puts on sunglasses) Now,for some inexplicable reason this AIM animated tree speaks in German. If you type "nice' or "hello" it jumps up and yells "GUTENTAG!" and for yes and no, it says "ach, Ja!" and "ooh nein!" now, I understand all about the Tannenbaum and all- but are you kidding me???
Also, I spent a good hour testing perfume at Sephora yesterday and I would like to say the following: just because you design lovely runway fashions does NOT mean you have a good nose. (I'm talking to you, Marc Jacobs) I also don't care if you put Nicole Kidman is a big fluffy dress and threw her on a swing, Chanel #5 still smells like like it belongs on a grandmother. As I watched boyfriend after boyfriend buy bottles of Ralph and True Star (aka Beyonce) and Curious (aka Mrs. Federline)I become more determined to find something under the radar. I think having a signature scent is a nice concept. After spraying no less than 50 little sticks of paper, and huffing coffee beans (to reset your nose) I think I found it. But I'm not telling you what is. I promise however, that I am not allowing Britney Spears to tell me how to smell.
Also, I spent a good hour testing perfume at Sephora yesterday and I would like to say the following: just because you design lovely runway fashions does NOT mean you have a good nose. (I'm talking to you, Marc Jacobs) I also don't care if you put Nicole Kidman is a big fluffy dress and threw her on a swing, Chanel #5 still smells like like it belongs on a grandmother. As I watched boyfriend after boyfriend buy bottles of Ralph and True Star (aka Beyonce) and Curious (aka Mrs. Federline)I become more determined to find something under the radar. I think having a signature scent is a nice concept. After spraying no less than 50 little sticks of paper, and huffing coffee beans (to reset your nose) I think I found it. But I'm not telling you what is. I promise however, that I am not allowing Britney Spears to tell me how to smell.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Holiday card propriety.
OK So wow. Three posts in a four hour period. THAT'S Chicago!!
Ok so my beloved coworker Cara Joy "Scoop" David has raised several issues on the matter of our Bway.com holiday cards. This is topical advice that I'm sure all you can use.
Firstly, she refused to sign the cards in red, because "red has a Christian connotation." Does it?? I guess it does. I mean, that's cool. Sign it in silver. Silver's pretty. Problem solved!!
Next up... What is the proper way to put a card in an envelope? Ok. So looking at the back of the envelope, and opening the seal with it still facing you... Should you first see the front or back of the card?? Cara says front, I say back. I think that if you open it and see the front, it ruins the surprise. Cara thinks that you should immediately be greated with something aesthetically pleasing. Thoughts?? Other confusions?? Post 'em in the comments field. I need to make this one-way blog more reader-centric.
A very nauseous,
KEVIN MANGANARO.
Ok so my beloved coworker Cara Joy "Scoop" David has raised several issues on the matter of our Bway.com holiday cards. This is topical advice that I'm sure all you can use.
Firstly, she refused to sign the cards in red, because "red has a Christian connotation." Does it?? I guess it does. I mean, that's cool. Sign it in silver. Silver's pretty. Problem solved!!
Next up... What is the proper way to put a card in an envelope? Ok. So looking at the back of the envelope, and opening the seal with it still facing you... Should you first see the front or back of the card?? Cara says front, I say back. I think that if you open it and see the front, it ruins the surprise. Cara thinks that you should immediately be greated with something aesthetically pleasing. Thoughts?? Other confusions?? Post 'em in the comments field. I need to make this one-way blog more reader-centric.
A very nauseous,
KEVIN MANGANARO.
Topics.
So I'm at work (STILL! It's 12:22pm. That should be quittin' time.), and I'm kind of dissatisfied with the blog you'll see below this one. First of all, I was unable to maintain the proper tense in my sentences. I could go back and fix it, but I feel too lazy after having eaten many delicious cookies (Thanks a lot, Disney Theatricals. You can burn in hell, faggots.)
Anyway, just wanted to toss out some other items that have been on my mind lately:
(1) I love Christmas, yet hate religion.
(2) CNN loves to talk about that gruesome crime, where the fetus was ripped from the woman's womb between 8:00 and 8:20am. This is my breakfast window, and they should know that. And if they continue talking about this disgusting, terrible, tragic happening while I'm eating my flakes, I will take my viewership to VH1 Classic.
(3) So Kate and I are watching "Housewife Detectives" last night (SO GOOD, by the way... Nicolette Sheridan gets better by the minute), and our neighbor Kay drops by, saying that she needs to use our internet. We warily agree, largely due to the fact that she's plainly flu-riddled. So I offer to make her tea (I was making some Sleepy Time for myself, anyway, so....), which leads Kate to corner me in the kitchen. "Why did you do that!?!" she barked, playfully. "Now she'll never leave!!" It was OK though. We ignored her and continued watching the TV. The question, dear readers, is this: Will Kate ever get her Krispy Kreme mug back? (please post your thoughts in the comments section of this blog).
(4) I'm still not done talking about the Scissor Sisters. They completely fucking rule. They even made straight-laced, plain-jane, dowdy mcdowdyfrock Michael Ettannani say, "Kevin, if my feet weren't so covered in blisters, I'd make you take me to a club." Now THAT is powerfully gay, folks!! Also, I'm here to tell you that the Scissors' "Comfortably Numb" is the cover of the year. And in that spirit, courtesy of Adam Hocke, I'd like to give some more shout-outs, in a new section I'd like to call Best Covers of the Week:
-Eva Cassidy's "True Colors"
-Postal Service's "Against The Odds"
-Seu Jorge's "Rock n Roll Suicide"
(sigh) Back to work. Sadness.
KEVIN :-)
Anyway, just wanted to toss out some other items that have been on my mind lately:
(1) I love Christmas, yet hate religion.
(2) CNN loves to talk about that gruesome crime, where the fetus was ripped from the woman's womb between 8:00 and 8:20am. This is my breakfast window, and they should know that. And if they continue talking about this disgusting, terrible, tragic happening while I'm eating my flakes, I will take my viewership to VH1 Classic.
(3) So Kate and I are watching "Housewife Detectives" last night (SO GOOD, by the way... Nicolette Sheridan gets better by the minute), and our neighbor Kay drops by, saying that she needs to use our internet. We warily agree, largely due to the fact that she's plainly flu-riddled. So I offer to make her tea (I was making some Sleepy Time for myself, anyway, so....), which leads Kate to corner me in the kitchen. "Why did you do that!?!" she barked, playfully. "Now she'll never leave!!" It was OK though. We ignored her and continued watching the TV. The question, dear readers, is this: Will Kate ever get her Krispy Kreme mug back? (please post your thoughts in the comments section of this blog).
(4) I'm still not done talking about the Scissor Sisters. They completely fucking rule. They even made straight-laced, plain-jane, dowdy mcdowdyfrock Michael Ettannani say, "Kevin, if my feet weren't so covered in blisters, I'd make you take me to a club." Now THAT is powerfully gay, folks!! Also, I'm here to tell you that the Scissors' "Comfortably Numb" is the cover of the year. And in that spirit, courtesy of Adam Hocke, I'd like to give some more shout-outs, in a new section I'd like to call Best Covers of the Week:
-Eva Cassidy's "True Colors"
-Postal Service's "Against The Odds"
-Seu Jorge's "Rock n Roll Suicide"
(sigh) Back to work. Sadness.
KEVIN :-)
THIS PAST WEEKEND: A round-up of all the pain, booze, bisexuals, trannies, cops, solotards and sparklers that made it a great one.
So hey. It's Tuesday at 9-someodd AM. I apologize for a whole blogless Monday having gone by, but work yesterday was like looking into the mouth of the beast. And it was cold. Oh, so cold. Not once but twice yesterday did I cry out on the street from the pain of the cold. Luckily, though, my office is Guadalahara in July. So I'm all set.
This past weekend was a full one. What follows is a blow-by-blow (so to speak):
FRIDAY: Get off work. Meet Mike on 37th Street to see Ladystein's holiday window installation to titilate the five senses. Grow so feverishly cold while watching the window that I shriek Mike, Maria, and Alana's sister and brother-in-law into getting coffee with me. Go to Hansson's. Drink massive quantities of vodka in a very short period of time. Eat spicy Italian meats. Hug Kate Sullivan a lot. Laugh while Kate makes jokes about boobs. Rub Jake's head a lot, because I love her. Take a series of pictures that flatter Mike & Kate while making me look like some fashion of hooptie. Hear Matt Wiegle say, "The olive platter is free. ROCK!" Depart Hansson's with Mike and Reza Jacobs to hit up the Shebeen. I last maybe... 4 minutes in the Shebeen before I stagger home drunk to bed myself, while Mike & Reza have several heart to hearts.
SATURDAY: I wake up, POWERFUL hurting, partly from too much drink but largely from Hansson's spicy meats. No one can appreciate quite how much my insides hurt, so Mike and I go to brunch (after having a dance party and greeting Laurel Jacobsen and Kate's mom). We go to brunch. Mike and I pick up sundries. I prepare foodstuffs. We kind of just chill out and maybe take naps, I'm not really sure. I make him watch the Scissor Sisters from last week's SNL. We go to see Ladystein play. They rock hard. I videotape them. We return to 244 East 21st Street to continue the rocking. Mike stops the party cold by screaming "I AM DIANA ROSS" at the top of his lungs, followed by a barely audible Hansson with, "Wait. He's who?" Much pot is smoked on our roof. Do much stepping into Christmas. Receive call from Joe; he introduces the phrase of the evening-- "jazz cordials." People light sparklers that Katie McGrath brought; Mike can only describe my face as "Nervous Nellie." People leave. Fall asleep after trying for about an hour to harmonize with Mike on songs ranging from "Hard Candy Christmas" to Aimee Mann's "Fourth of July."
SUNDAY: Wake. Berate Mike (who redefines grumpypants), saying "If we don't get brunch right now, we'll NEVER make it to a 2:00 Life Aquatic!!" Get to The Life Aquatic about 45 minutes early (heh heh). It's even more magical the second time (SIDEBAR: That Janis Ian song- "Here's To You"- is one of the eeriest songs ever written). Exit the movie theatre, screaming at each other in full voice about whether or not Anjelica Huston can be categorized as a "great beauty." In the cab, we discover that we've an extra Scissor Sisters ticket. ROCK! Mike, myself, Princess, and Kate descend upon the Hammerstein for a 6:30 Scissor Sisters. Wait for them to come on... which happens at 9:30 (following two BRILLIANT DJ's and an OK Asian trannie band). Behold the band's silhouette behind a scrim while Dolly Parton's "Baby, I'm Burning" plays over the speakers. Rocking commences. Best concert ever. It ends with the stage covered in screaming, girating, sticker-tossing trannies. Magic.
Too much work to do now to properly finish this, so I'll just say that the weather is cold, but Leigh Somerville is colder.
ME :-)
This past weekend was a full one. What follows is a blow-by-blow (so to speak):
FRIDAY: Get off work. Meet Mike on 37th Street to see Ladystein's holiday window installation to titilate the five senses. Grow so feverishly cold while watching the window that I shriek Mike, Maria, and Alana's sister and brother-in-law into getting coffee with me. Go to Hansson's. Drink massive quantities of vodka in a very short period of time. Eat spicy Italian meats. Hug Kate Sullivan a lot. Laugh while Kate makes jokes about boobs. Rub Jake's head a lot, because I love her. Take a series of pictures that flatter Mike & Kate while making me look like some fashion of hooptie. Hear Matt Wiegle say, "The olive platter is free. ROCK!" Depart Hansson's with Mike and Reza Jacobs to hit up the Shebeen. I last maybe... 4 minutes in the Shebeen before I stagger home drunk to bed myself, while Mike & Reza have several heart to hearts.
SATURDAY: I wake up, POWERFUL hurting, partly from too much drink but largely from Hansson's spicy meats. No one can appreciate quite how much my insides hurt, so Mike and I go to brunch (after having a dance party and greeting Laurel Jacobsen and Kate's mom). We go to brunch. Mike and I pick up sundries. I prepare foodstuffs. We kind of just chill out and maybe take naps, I'm not really sure. I make him watch the Scissor Sisters from last week's SNL. We go to see Ladystein play. They rock hard. I videotape them. We return to 244 East 21st Street to continue the rocking. Mike stops the party cold by screaming "I AM DIANA ROSS" at the top of his lungs, followed by a barely audible Hansson with, "Wait. He's who?" Much pot is smoked on our roof. Do much stepping into Christmas. Receive call from Joe; he introduces the phrase of the evening-- "jazz cordials." People light sparklers that Katie McGrath brought; Mike can only describe my face as "Nervous Nellie." People leave. Fall asleep after trying for about an hour to harmonize with Mike on songs ranging from "Hard Candy Christmas" to Aimee Mann's "Fourth of July."
SUNDAY: Wake. Berate Mike (who redefines grumpypants), saying "If we don't get brunch right now, we'll NEVER make it to a 2:00 Life Aquatic!!" Get to The Life Aquatic about 45 minutes early (heh heh). It's even more magical the second time (SIDEBAR: That Janis Ian song- "Here's To You"- is one of the eeriest songs ever written). Exit the movie theatre, screaming at each other in full voice about whether or not Anjelica Huston can be categorized as a "great beauty." In the cab, we discover that we've an extra Scissor Sisters ticket. ROCK! Mike, myself, Princess, and Kate descend upon the Hammerstein for a 6:30 Scissor Sisters. Wait for them to come on... which happens at 9:30 (following two BRILLIANT DJ's and an OK Asian trannie band). Behold the band's silhouette behind a scrim while Dolly Parton's "Baby, I'm Burning" plays over the speakers. Rocking commences. Best concert ever. It ends with the stage covered in screaming, girating, sticker-tossing trannies. Magic.
Too much work to do now to properly finish this, so I'll just say that the weather is cold, but Leigh Somerville is colder.
ME :-)
Monday, December 20, 2004
Baby, it's Cold Outside ...
AHHH. First snow of the season. How nice to wake up to.
The weather channel has just informed me that it's 14 degrees outside (2 degrees with the windchill people!) BTWs, incase anyone was not aware I watch the weather channel in an obsessive trance for around 15 minutes every morning. Those animated maps are intoxicating, I swear.
This development has lead me to the following conclusions:
1- I'm not leaving the house
2-Even if I wanted to, the only shoes I brought home are heels and suede sneakers. This could become problematic. Thank god for online shopping!
Also, I'm home- and I can't wait to see of all our loyal readers. I miss you all terribly.
I'd like to leave you with the following exchange:
my dad: that's werid. It doesnt make any sense
me: what's wrong?
my dad: the dogs are sick!
me: hmmm. (wonders around house, only to discover the worlds largest pointsettia in the den I kid you not, the thing is 7 feet wide) Um...guys...are you aware pointsettias are poisonus?
my parents (in unison) oh! my! GOD!
someone's christmas cheer poisoned my dogs. SIGH.
The weather channel has just informed me that it's 14 degrees outside (2 degrees with the windchill people!) BTWs, incase anyone was not aware I watch the weather channel in an obsessive trance for around 15 minutes every morning. Those animated maps are intoxicating, I swear.
This development has lead me to the following conclusions:
1- I'm not leaving the house
2-Even if I wanted to, the only shoes I brought home are heels and suede sneakers. This could become problematic. Thank god for online shopping!
Also, I'm home- and I can't wait to see of all our loyal readers. I miss you all terribly.
I'd like to leave you with the following exchange:
my dad: that's werid. It doesnt make any sense
me: what's wrong?
my dad: the dogs are sick!
me: hmmm. (wonders around house, only to discover the worlds largest pointsettia in the den I kid you not, the thing is 7 feet wide) Um...guys...are you aware pointsettias are poisonus?
my parents (in unison) oh! my! GOD!
someone's christmas cheer poisoned my dogs. SIGH.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
attack of the killer...ladybugs?
Sometime this week Mara found a ladybug on her bed. Upon which I laughed and helped her set it free. (One doesn't kill ladybugs. They are too aesthetically pleasing to deserve death)A ladybug! How amusing! Then this morning, I find a ladybug on my pillow. Now, I'm sure it's cold out and the ladybugs are just looking for somewhere warm and cozy to hang out- but still...ladybugs? of all the creepy-crawly things that could be lurking in a hundred year old rowhouse; this is not what I was expecting. I like to picture them scampering around in pairs marveling at our decor.
*please note* kevin would like me to ensure you that I am infact discussing insects; and not the late 80s movie about a cross-dressing soccer player starring the late rodney dangerfield and Jonathan Brandis, of "Seaquest:DSV" fame. WAIT! Jonathan Brandis is dead too! WAIT...maybe the ghosts of B-List celebrities are haunting my apartment??? ooooh. Luther Vandross, I'm on to your game!
Ok, well Kate Wilkinson has just reminded me that ladybugs are good luck, and therefore "it's like her house is full of really nice fortune cookies"
well good. I feel better now...
*please note* kevin would like me to ensure you that I am infact discussing insects; and not the late 80s movie about a cross-dressing soccer player starring the late rodney dangerfield and Jonathan Brandis, of "Seaquest:DSV" fame. WAIT! Jonathan Brandis is dead too! WAIT...maybe the ghosts of B-List celebrities are haunting my apartment??? ooooh. Luther Vandross, I'm on to your game!
Ok, well Kate Wilkinson has just reminded me that ladybugs are good luck, and therefore "it's like her house is full of really nice fortune cookies"
well good. I feel better now...
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
The Magic of Chili on a Cold Winter Evening...
Last night, Mike I celebrated his conquest of the Law in grand style. We had dinner @ Ben's Chili Bowl. While inhaling fries and chocolate shakes, we had the following conversation about our dear friend, the noted composer Joseph P. Iconis:
Leigh: You know what's funny, if you look at the blog Joe is drunk and hitting on a girl in every picture
Mike: yeah, he is
Leigh: but having been a victim, I have to say it's not...it's like... (reaching for words)
Mike: It's not bad. It's like being humped by a dog. it's not sexual, it's just funny
both nearly fall off stools from laughter.
We also got on the topic of wedding songs, and it was decided that Joe would compose an original song when kevin ties the knot. We came up with the title for what I'm currently calling "The love theme to the Kevin's Wedding" (it's actual title is inappropriate for this site, but SO appropriate if you understand the way Joe's mind works.) If you want to know the actual title, get in contact with me. you won't be so disappointed, I assure you.
Leigh: You know what's funny, if you look at the blog Joe is drunk and hitting on a girl in every picture
Mike: yeah, he is
Leigh: but having been a victim, I have to say it's not...it's like... (reaching for words)
Mike: It's not bad. It's like being humped by a dog. it's not sexual, it's just funny
both nearly fall off stools from laughter.
We also got on the topic of wedding songs, and it was decided that Joe would compose an original song when kevin ties the knot. We came up with the title for what I'm currently calling "The love theme to the Kevin's Wedding" (it's actual title is inappropriate for this site, but SO appropriate if you understand the way Joe's mind works.) If you want to know the actual title, get in contact with me. you won't be so disappointed, I assure you.
Our Love Is Laminated
CHRISTMAS MIRACLES DO HAPPEN, DEAR READERS!
Last night, at the Broadway.com/Theatre Direct Holiday Party (we're supposed to keep from singling out one particular religious denomination, but HELLO check the decorations-- Jews don't do wreaths), Katie McGrath and I got our love/friendship/mutual obsession sealed in the form of a Bway.com employee award (an "Eddie") for Best Duo. OK, so in all fairness there may have been a tie, BUT WE WON IN SPIRIT. Also, we each won the respective Mr. & Ms. Congeniality prizes, but it's all bout Best Duo. Because we kiss FAR more than any of the other finalists, so fuck all a y'all!!! Also, what a nice Christmas party it was. Also, what terrible music they were playing. Also, how singularly NOT drunk was I. BUT YEAH... through it all, I walked away with my first award-winning friendship. But not my last. In no way my last (I'm looking at you, Kate Jacobs).
So who out there heard about this whole Natalie Portman offending black people thing?? It's SUCH bullshit. Let's look at the facts. In Allure magazine, she said, "I was reading W.E.B. DuBois's stuff in school, and I was like 'Oh my God! I'm not black, but I know what it feels like!'" I think that's a sweet, empathetic thing for a pampered Long Island JAP bitch to say. I've certainly identified with the African-American persona in my day. Anyway, there was an uproar, and because Natalie Portman has to be ooie-gooie sweet for the next few months if she wants to win an Oscar (which would be one of the least deserved Oscars since Renee Zellweger), she issued the following apology: "My lack of eloquence, combined with my words being taken out of context, led to the printing of a statement of mine that I found personally offensive. If I had spoken more articulately, I might have conveyed what I truly feel: I could never know what is like to be a black American. I could only imagine what it’s like to be anything other than what my own experience has been. The 'it' I was referring to when I said, 'I know what it feels like,' was not intended to signify that I know 'how black people feel,' but rather that I know what DuBois’s concept of double-consciousness feels like, in variation. Had my quote included what I actually said preceding that statement, perhaps my meaning would have been clearer." YES, Natalie Portman. That's EXACTLY what you should have said, you dumb BITCH. Please use the phrase "DuBois's concept of double-consciousness feels like, in variation" to make your point clearer to the readership of fucking JET MAGAZINE, you TOOL. This has not made me very happy this morning.
Tea Leoni is on Regis & Kelly... Did she just say that her kids have never been cold? Maybe she meant they've never gotten sick. But... Did she mean that they've never felt the sensation of cold??
An IM exchange I had with Joe this morning:
Spunky4evr: also- is it freezing out?
Disney109: It could not be MORE freezing. It's horrible.
Disney109: It will hurt your skin.
Spunky4evr: YEAH!
Later.
Last night, at the Broadway.com/Theatre Direct Holiday Party (we're supposed to keep from singling out one particular religious denomination, but HELLO check the decorations-- Jews don't do wreaths), Katie McGrath and I got our love/friendship/mutual obsession sealed in the form of a Bway.com employee award (an "Eddie") for Best Duo. OK, so in all fairness there may have been a tie, BUT WE WON IN SPIRIT. Also, we each won the respective Mr. & Ms. Congeniality prizes, but it's all bout Best Duo. Because we kiss FAR more than any of the other finalists, so fuck all a y'all!!! Also, what a nice Christmas party it was. Also, what terrible music they were playing. Also, how singularly NOT drunk was I. BUT YEAH... through it all, I walked away with my first award-winning friendship. But not my last. In no way my last (I'm looking at you, Kate Jacobs).
So who out there heard about this whole Natalie Portman offending black people thing?? It's SUCH bullshit. Let's look at the facts. In Allure magazine, she said, "I was reading W.E.B. DuBois's stuff in school, and I was like 'Oh my God! I'm not black, but I know what it feels like!'" I think that's a sweet, empathetic thing for a pampered Long Island JAP bitch to say. I've certainly identified with the African-American persona in my day. Anyway, there was an uproar, and because Natalie Portman has to be ooie-gooie sweet for the next few months if she wants to win an Oscar (which would be one of the least deserved Oscars since Renee Zellweger), she issued the following apology: "My lack of eloquence, combined with my words being taken out of context, led to the printing of a statement of mine that I found personally offensive. If I had spoken more articulately, I might have conveyed what I truly feel: I could never know what is like to be a black American. I could only imagine what it’s like to be anything other than what my own experience has been. The 'it' I was referring to when I said, 'I know what it feels like,' was not intended to signify that I know 'how black people feel,' but rather that I know what DuBois’s concept of double-consciousness feels like, in variation. Had my quote included what I actually said preceding that statement, perhaps my meaning would have been clearer." YES, Natalie Portman. That's EXACTLY what you should have said, you dumb BITCH. Please use the phrase "DuBois's concept of double-consciousness feels like, in variation" to make your point clearer to the readership of fucking JET MAGAZINE, you TOOL. This has not made me very happy this morning.
Tea Leoni is on Regis & Kelly... Did she just say that her kids have never been cold? Maybe she meant they've never gotten sick. But... Did she mean that they've never felt the sensation of cold??
An IM exchange I had with Joe this morning:
Spunky4evr: also- is it freezing out?
Disney109: It could not be MORE freezing. It's horrible.
Disney109: It will hurt your skin.
Spunky4evr: YEAH!
Later.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
O Christmas Tree...
below, please find a picture of my beautiful Christmas tree (accented by the lovely gold paint in my living room) I am throughly impressed that we have a 6 foot tree in our apartment.
Also, I would like to give shout-outs to the following: The Gayrab for fighting the law...and winning.(granted he's probably in a coma of intoxication at the moment...) cheers mike. five more semesters, and you're a doctor of law!
to Mara Abrams:for going out on a date for a Muhlenberg alum. My roomate went out for tapas with E.S.! so randomly amusing!
and finally, to Kevin Manganaro, for being a body art muse. Snaps for kevin!
Also, I would like to give shout-outs to the following: The Gayrab for fighting the law...and winning.(granted he's probably in a coma of intoxication at the moment...) cheers mike. five more semesters, and you're a doctor of law!
to Mara Abrams:for going out on a date for a Muhlenberg alum. My roomate went out for tapas with E.S.! so randomly amusing!
and finally, to Kevin Manganaro, for being a body art muse. Snaps for kevin!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Holiday'splosion.
OK So now to sink into the meaty underbelly of what's gone on over the last few days. THE SWEET, FLESHY UNDERBELLLY. List form works best for me right now (Am I always drinking when I write this?????????)...
(1) I frickin love "The Life Aquatic." Anjelica Huston can do no wrong in my book, and I've always held her in that special regard I reserve for women who are both hideous and regal (Hillary Clinton, Faye Dunaway, etc.)... BUT NOW. Oh my god. Her delivery has risen (sunken?) to a state to lifeless ennui such as to suggest she's not even there at all.... just a total vacuum. And ya know what fills that vaccum? My laughter. Think about it.
(2) I attended the Connecticut Gay Men's Choir's annual Christmas spectacular on Saturday. This year's entry, "Martha's Jailhouse Christmas," continued in the sizable footsteps of past masterpieces like "Liza & David's First Christmas" and "Queer Eye for the Magi." It contained the funniest exchange (between Martha & the warden) that I've heard this holiday season. It's better told over the phone, so if you'd like to hear it, please call (516) 241-5521.
(3) Why am I surprised that Scott Peterson is getting the death penalty? I probably shouldn't be so surprised, right? But... Oh well. I mean... I don't know how to feel... I mean. OK. Wait. Let's think this through. I bet he's guilty, right? I mean, he must be. He LOOKS guilty, ya know? But... Should we be killing evil people? I don't know. It just doesn't sit well with me. Ya know, actually is REALLY doesn't sit well with me. It's... OK. It's REALLY and TRULY not right. No. No, it is NOT right to kill people in order to say that killing is wrong. Awesome. Case closed!! Kevin Manganaro, Girl Detective!
(4) BIGGEST SHOUT-OUT of the day to Cara Joy David, Bway.com newshound. She's providing me with a recipe for Peppermint Brownies. And in that regard, she's kinder than William-Sonoma. And prettier than all git-out!
(5) Oh my god. So as I'm writing this (and drinking my vodka), Ladystein (ladystein.blogspot.com) is rehearsing in my very own living room!! This girl band is the hottest and coolest around... How's that for a paradox?? Anyway, these two ladies are having a Christmas show on the 18th, and if I may, they're making two very valuable additions to the Christmas Music canon. The first is their chilling, almost eerie rendition of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." Imagine Aimee Mann singing it, only chillier. The second, and it's a big'ne, is "Hard Candy Christmas." I have one word for it: WOW. I love living with one half of this holiday dynamo.
(6) Happy Chaka Khan to all of our Jewish readers!
(7) There are going to be some photos to accompany this posting. They will include: A drunken near-rape between Joe Iconis and Laurel Jacobsen that only ended when she did a backwards somersault into my closet (she began in my kichen). Kevin discovering that Metro North trains have a bar car (Thanks, Kind Conductor, for letting us take pictures!!!). Kate standing in front of a man who I think looks A WHOLE LOT like Danny DeVito. So get ready.
(8) I have nothing to say about the Golden Globe nominations. Nothing. Except that I love Ashley Judd, Virginia Madsen, and most of all, Uma Thurman. Keep up the good work, gentlemen.
(9) Bye.
(1) I frickin love "The Life Aquatic." Anjelica Huston can do no wrong in my book, and I've always held her in that special regard I reserve for women who are both hideous and regal (Hillary Clinton, Faye Dunaway, etc.)... BUT NOW. Oh my god. Her delivery has risen (sunken?) to a state to lifeless ennui such as to suggest she's not even there at all.... just a total vacuum. And ya know what fills that vaccum? My laughter. Think about it.
(2) I attended the Connecticut Gay Men's Choir's annual Christmas spectacular on Saturday. This year's entry, "Martha's Jailhouse Christmas," continued in the sizable footsteps of past masterpieces like "Liza & David's First Christmas" and "Queer Eye for the Magi." It contained the funniest exchange (between Martha & the warden) that I've heard this holiday season. It's better told over the phone, so if you'd like to hear it, please call (516) 241-5521.
(3) Why am I surprised that Scott Peterson is getting the death penalty? I probably shouldn't be so surprised, right? But... Oh well. I mean... I don't know how to feel... I mean. OK. Wait. Let's think this through. I bet he's guilty, right? I mean, he must be. He LOOKS guilty, ya know? But... Should we be killing evil people? I don't know. It just doesn't sit well with me. Ya know, actually is REALLY doesn't sit well with me. It's... OK. It's REALLY and TRULY not right. No. No, it is NOT right to kill people in order to say that killing is wrong. Awesome. Case closed!! Kevin Manganaro, Girl Detective!
(4) BIGGEST SHOUT-OUT of the day to Cara Joy David, Bway.com newshound. She's providing me with a recipe for Peppermint Brownies. And in that regard, she's kinder than William-Sonoma. And prettier than all git-out!
(5) Oh my god. So as I'm writing this (and drinking my vodka), Ladystein (ladystein.blogspot.com) is rehearsing in my very own living room!! This girl band is the hottest and coolest around... How's that for a paradox?? Anyway, these two ladies are having a Christmas show on the 18th, and if I may, they're making two very valuable additions to the Christmas Music canon. The first is their chilling, almost eerie rendition of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." Imagine Aimee Mann singing it, only chillier. The second, and it's a big'ne, is "Hard Candy Christmas." I have one word for it: WOW. I love living with one half of this holiday dynamo.
(6) Happy Chaka Khan to all of our Jewish readers!
(7) There are going to be some photos to accompany this posting. They will include: A drunken near-rape between Joe Iconis and Laurel Jacobsen that only ended when she did a backwards somersault into my closet (she began in my kichen). Kevin discovering that Metro North trains have a bar car (Thanks, Kind Conductor, for letting us take pictures!!!). Kate standing in front of a man who I think looks A WHOLE LOT like Danny DeVito. So get ready.
(8) I have nothing to say about the Golden Globe nominations. Nothing. Except that I love Ashley Judd, Virginia Madsen, and most of all, Uma Thurman. Keep up the good work, gentlemen.
(9) Bye.
This season's must-give gift? Correct Opinions!
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.virginiaisforhaters.org
Please patronize these two sites. The former is really just a DELIGHTFUL rant, but the latter actually wants you to do shit. But it's good shit-- good for your friends and good for your soul. So do the right thing... cancel your Capital One credit cards (I never liked their stupid viking commercials anyway) and (*SHUDDER*) cancel your J. Crew catalogues. It doesn't seem easy, but it is. You can always pretty much guess what J. Crew will tell you anyway. It's almost always something about cable knit sweaters. I, personally, am not a Kennedy (though I can't speak for our entire readership) and as such, my use for multiple cable knit sweaters is limited.
But truly... both Leigh and I are ALL ABOUT gay marriage. Because we want to marry each other. And nothing could be queerer than that.
www.virginiaisforhaters.org
Please patronize these two sites. The former is really just a DELIGHTFUL rant, but the latter actually wants you to do shit. But it's good shit-- good for your friends and good for your soul. So do the right thing... cancel your Capital One credit cards (I never liked their stupid viking commercials anyway) and (*SHUDDER*) cancel your J. Crew catalogues. It doesn't seem easy, but it is. You can always pretty much guess what J. Crew will tell you anyway. It's almost always something about cable knit sweaters. I, personally, am not a Kennedy (though I can't speak for our entire readership) and as such, my use for multiple cable knit sweaters is limited.
But truly... both Leigh and I are ALL ABOUT gay marriage. Because we want to marry each other. And nothing could be queerer than that.
Christmas in Washington
So, last night my lovely roommates and I (along with our friend Kim, filling in for the gayrab) attended the National Symphony Orchestra's Christmas concert. Now, I know, you're thinking "oh, that sounds nice!" therefore, I am forced to bring you:
THE TOP TEN REASONS TO FEAR CHRISTMAS SHOWS:
10- Number of small children in velvet holiday attire? Thousands.
9-Your seats are in a row that forces you watch the show as though it was passing scenery on a train ride.
8- Mrs. Claus sings a Jazz number about her woeful life
7- 11 year old star search reject (in aforementioned velvet holiday attire) belts out a painful rendition of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" you might hope this is the last you'll see of her. You'd be wrong.
6- Two words: Marvin. Hamlisch. winning an Oscar and being BFFs with Barbara Streisand does NOT give you the right to bogart the microphone and talk about how your childhood for fifteen minutes.
5-Star search reject: round two. Now she's backed-up by a gospel choir!
4- Old white choir from Virginia attempting to clap with gospel choir proves that white men have NO rhythm.
3- Sing-Along. At the freaking Kennedy Center!
2- Santa Claus arrives. (Finally!) With Rudolph? No. WITH A CHRISTMAS LLAMA! Apparently, the animal wranglers were fresh out of reindeer and they just assumed no one would question the replacement. WRONG.
And the number one reason to fear Christmas shows....
1-you now have to watch Marvin Hamlisch lead Santa, Mrs. Claus, some elves, the star search reject, the gospel choir, the white choir, the National Symphony Orchestra and one very scared and confused looking llama in a stunning rendition of the "Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel's Messiah.
SIGH.
THE TOP TEN REASONS TO FEAR CHRISTMAS SHOWS:
10- Number of small children in velvet holiday attire? Thousands.
9-Your seats are in a row that forces you watch the show as though it was passing scenery on a train ride.
8- Mrs. Claus sings a Jazz number about her woeful life
7- 11 year old star search reject (in aforementioned velvet holiday attire) belts out a painful rendition of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" you might hope this is the last you'll see of her. You'd be wrong.
6- Two words: Marvin. Hamlisch. winning an Oscar and being BFFs with Barbara Streisand does NOT give you the right to bogart the microphone and talk about how your childhood for fifteen minutes.
5-Star search reject: round two. Now she's backed-up by a gospel choir!
4- Old white choir from Virginia attempting to clap with gospel choir proves that white men have NO rhythm.
3- Sing-Along. At the freaking Kennedy Center!
2- Santa Claus arrives. (Finally!) With Rudolph? No. WITH A CHRISTMAS LLAMA! Apparently, the animal wranglers were fresh out of reindeer and they just assumed no one would question the replacement. WRONG.
And the number one reason to fear Christmas shows....
1-you now have to watch Marvin Hamlisch lead Santa, Mrs. Claus, some elves, the star search reject, the gospel choir, the white choir, the National Symphony Orchestra and one very scared and confused looking llama in a stunning rendition of the "Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel's Messiah.
SIGH.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
The Best of Times is Now.... for Joe Iconis.
OK So yeah. Joe's a success. Mike's a mess. Leigh's mid-breakdown. Kate's in a solotard. And what about me? I am EXHAUSTED.
But I AM going to see "The Life Aquatic" tomorrow. Best fricking thing ever. REAL excited.
But I AM going to see "The Life Aquatic" tomorrow. Best fricking thing ever. REAL excited.
didaskaleinophobia - fear of going to school
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! no more finals. no masters degree. I am losing my sanity. I have to go give a power point on interdisciplianry teaching now, but i just wanted to say the following things:
1.) Antonio Banderas has a fragrance? What????
2.) Kudos and Congratulations to my dear friend Joseph Iconis. I knew the moment he played "master of the house" in third grade music class that he was a musical genious. Now, apparently, the rest of the world may get to know too. Anyway, now that he's marked for greatness I have a few sage words of advice: Joe- Don't forget the little people who drove ten hours to Niagara Falls while you were screaming and deaf; and still befriended you after the infamous Maragarita in a Bucket incident of '03.
1.) Antonio Banderas has a fragrance? What????
2.) Kudos and Congratulations to my dear friend Joseph Iconis. I knew the moment he played "master of the house" in third grade music class that he was a musical genious. Now, apparently, the rest of the world may get to know too. Anyway, now that he's marked for greatness I have a few sage words of advice: Joe- Don't forget the little people who drove ten hours to Niagara Falls while you were screaming and deaf; and still befriended you after the infamous Maragarita in a Bucket incident of '03.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
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