This is the most important announcement in ages...

Salma Hayek does NOT have $100 million.

Don't even tease, guys. I mean, she has MONEY. Don't get me wrong. But she doesn't have $100 million. That's crazy. I mean, if Salma had it, Salma would give it.

Her direct quote on the subject: "If I had $100 million I would have retired and would be doing more things on an altruistic level than I can now. I would have opened centers in Mexico for violence against women and many other things."

Got it, Salma. You're not loaded ENOUGH to stop violence against women. Cool beans. (grumble, grumble)

Things Kevin Would Do If He Had However Much Money Salma Hayek Has*:

1. I would open centers in Mexico for violence against women "and many other things."
2. I would donate it here.
3. I would donate it here. (Seriously. And lots of it.)
4. I would have kept HOT FEET running. Forever.
5. I would produce Alec Baldwin a vehicle worthy of his prodigious talents.
6. I would buy a giant hug from Kimya Dawson and drop it over Israel, because they seem to have a killer case of the grumps lately.
7. I would donate to Queen Latifah's Last Holiday Oscar campaign. (Meryl Streep is AWESOME in The Devil Wears Prada, truly colossal, but this is the best performance of the year so far.) (Isn't it shameful how it all comes back to movies??)
8. Two words: Iced coffee. How much do you think I could get for $100 mil?

Anyway, the disclaimer to all of this is that I really do fucking love Salma Hayek. Her Frida nomination was richly deserved, and I'm a slut for her crazy dyke turn in Timecode. That said, if this twat has $500 to her name, she can still toss some homeless dude a ten spot and make the world a better place. I'm totally aware that her words were taken out of context (I'm sure she's v.v. generous), but I'm using them to make a point. And THAT is how Salma Hayek makes a difference. Well, that and Banditas.

Hugs for all,

KEVIN :-)

*Less than $100 million.

Ok, I'm willing to move to the tropics now.

Hybrid chocolate won’t melt in the heat!
Scientists say a cornstarch concoction has that milk-chocolate taste

Cocoa beans lie within a cross-section of a cacao pod. Although tropical countries tend to be the world's biggest cocoa producers, the finished chocolate doesn't stand up to the tropical heat. Now Nigerian researchers have come up with a heat-resistant formula that preserves the milk-chocolate taste.
Most brands of chocolate melt at temperatures between 77 and about 91 degrees Fahrenheit (25 to 33 degrees Celsius).
S.O. Ogunwolu and C.O. Jayeola, food scientists at the Cocoa Research Institute of Nigeria, have mixed cornstarch with cocoa to produce a heat-resistant chocolate that they say compares "favorably with conventional milk chocolate in terms of color, taste, smoothness and overall acceptability."
The starch acts as a chocolate thickener and prevents the outflow of cocoa butter — the natural fat of the cocoa bean — when the heat is on. The researchers found that using 10 percent starch was ideal and produced a product that was comparable to milk chocolate in taste tests.
The new concoction stays firm up to 122 degrees F (50 degrees C).
The recipe is outlined in the current issue of the British Food Journal.

Malan Breton is the new Kara Janx

Nothing has me more excited than the new summer season of Project Runway. Oh how I've missed those trips to the Tresume Hair Salaon and the Loreal Paris Makeup room (and...the Macy's accessory wall?!?) But I digress....

• Malan Breton. (who claims his hometown is...Long Island City. Please. People from Ronkonkoma can spit on you) Someone needs an attitude adjustment mister.
• Jeffery is a poor man's Santino. Models and feathers. High on yourself. We've seen this show before...(Heidi just called it whilst I was typing this) NEXT.
• Keith-if you're going to badmouth Michael Kors AND Nina Garcia, I'm going to scream you out of the television. Even if you made a pretty dress.
• Wait, Banana Republic isn't sponsering the show anymore? que?
• Wait...Vincent puts a bowl on someone's head, and he stays? Oy.
• Honestly, I don't know who to root for yet. I'm two-for-two in picking champs... such pressure. Whatever. Show me Tim Gunn barking at people, and I'm thrilled.

O beautiful, for spacious skies...

Really, the skies are far more spacious from a rooftop.
The fourth was celebrated in DC at the Dupont manor featuring tons of food and drink, dueling nintendo systems, a rooftop grill, an elaborate dumbwaiter system, a rooftop keg, sparklers, and fireworks galore. At somepoint during the fireworks, there were milkshakes featuring chocolate syrup and Jack Daniels.
Cheers to Laura and Angele for a grand celebration of our nation's independance.