Don't even tease, guys. I mean, she has MONEY. Don't get me wrong. But she doesn't have $100 million. That's crazy. I mean, if Salma had it, Salma would give it.
Her direct quote on the subject: "If I had $100 million I would have retired and would be doing more things on an altruistic level than I can now. I would have opened centers in Mexico for violence against women and many other things."
Got it, Salma. You're not loaded ENOUGH to stop violence against women. Cool beans. (grumble, grumble)
Things Kevin Would Do If He Had However Much Money Salma Hayek Has*:
- I would open centers in Mexico for violence against women "and many other things."
- I would donate it here.
- I would donate it here. (Seriously. And lots of it.)
- I would have kept HOT FEET running. Forever.
- I would produce Alec Baldwin a vehicle worthy of his prodigious talents.
- I would buy a giant hug from Kimya Dawson and drop it over Israel, because they seem to have a killer case of the grumps lately.
- I would donate to Queen Latifah's Last Holiday Oscar campaign. (Meryl Streep is AWESOME in The Devil Wears Prada, truly colossal, but this is the best performance of the year so far.) (Isn't it shameful how it all comes back to movies??)
- Two words: Iced coffee. How much do you think I could get for $100 mil?
Anyway, the disclaimer to all of this is that I really do fucking love Salma Hayek. Her Frida nomination was richly deserved, and I'm a slut for her crazy dyke turn in Timecode. That said, if this twat has $500 to her name, she can still toss some homeless dude a ten spot and make the world a better place. I'm totally aware that her words were taken out of context (I'm sure she's v.v. generous), but I'm using them to make a point. And THAT is how Salma Hayek makes a difference. Well, that and Banditas.
Hugs for all,
KEVIN :-)
*Less than $100 million.
