Into every life, a little Elton John must fall

I pose this question as I sit in my bedclothes at 9:10pm (I just got back from the gym, so I was sweaty... hence, shower and bedclothes... what??)::

Has there ever been a finer song written that Elton John's "Step Into Christmas"?

I don't think so. I bet it's not only the best Christmas song ever written (trumping a strong second in the form of "All I Want For Christmas Is You"), but perhaps the best song. Hands down. Ever. Why? Because it celebrates the sheer joy of the holiday (which is something the morose and downright eerie "Polar Express" clearly failed to do) without my Eltie sounding like a sellout. If anything, he sounds MORE Elton John than normal. It's like Elton John sat 'round the tree on Christmas morning, saw a shiny package. "Wut's 'is then?" he said to himself. And when he peeled off the shiny wrapping, inside was a magnification of his own talent.

So that's why that song rocks my hammies. DONE AND DONE.

Other points that need to be made...

(1) ATTN: Julia Roberts. I hate the name Phinneus. What are you, a tool? But "Hazel Patricia" sounds really pretty to me. So you get the benfit of the doubt.

(2) Marissa Hansson has a "rumbling uterus"??? What???? Mike, you raise more questions that you answer, dear knave.

(3) Happy Birthday to everyone's favorite sprite, Kathleen Noelle Jacobs. She's 23 today, and prettier than ever. And she's soon bound for massage convent. We love her, wish her the best, and can't wait for her party on Saturday when pronouncements will be made regarding update item #2.

(4) Speaking of the healing sciences... I totally forgot to tell people this story. Over Thanksgiving dinner, it came out that my aunt has become a certified horse whisperer. Seriously. She massages horses. I think she called it "equissage." Rest assured, I have never-- NEVER-- pinched my Grandma Mae's arm so hard during a relative's rant. Ever. Mae, in turn, stabbed a crab cake with unusual gusto.

Yo, it's 10:21pm now. Mike distracted me for an hour, talking about law school, and bondage, and "forbearance," and who's blonde and who isn't, and Frankie Sena, and shit like that there. So now I'm done. Time for "Gilmore," y'all. Evening.

KEVIN :-)

You fill up my senses....

Kevin William Manganaro, you are an evil genious. I wonder if anyone in these photos is going to happen upon them by accident. that would be...interesting. I haven't time to write anything like a novella you posted, but I would like to mention the following things:
1-yesterday, the only time I left my apartment was to get a peppermint mocha. The starbucks in union station was out of both peppermint syrup and cardboard cupolders. Never patronize them!
2-if any loyal readers out there would like to give me some helpful hints on comparing the roman empire with the roman republic, it would greatly increase my chances of actually being sane if and when I ever earn a masters degree.
3- and far most important; according the USWeekly (Issue 512, Dec 6th "Desperate Housewife?") Jennifer Lopez and my parents are currently living less than 2 miles apart. we may be sharing a zipcode. Get ready for Jlo run-ins at Americana. Jlo in Brookville. A-Rod buying a house in Garden City. Long Island is on the up and up!

Five Years (like sad songs) Says So Much// Also, some thoughts on Princess Diana

Hey, all. So please do consider the photos found below.
This is my photographic testament to the GCHS Class of '99 five year reunion. It was, simply put, a FUCK of a time. I had SO much fun, largely due to dirty dancing with Graziella B-H, tongue kissing Billie Jo Backert (which we never did as prom dates), and bitch fighting with Mike Ettannani.
Good time. Got shit drunk with Somerville and Katie Sullivan. Beer flowed. Shots flowed. Leigh's random 19-year old cousins were spotted. Hansson tried to land Glenn Nick (successfully? I forgot to ask). Leigh fell repeatedly, only to be picked up from the parking lot of the Uptown Grill by Greg Meranti, noted anal sex fetishist.

And then Thanksgiving.

I frickin love Thanksgiving. Truly. It's just the most food-centric holiday. I had such a good time, despite being wildly hung over. I mean, a hang over doesn't exactly help when trying to deal with your decidedly "Red State" relatives, especially when I was seated as far as humanly possible from my leftie grandmother.

OTHER RANDOM RANTS:
(1) So this plane crash that's ruined Dick Ebersol, the NBC Sports guy is horrible. But what's even more horrible is how slighted Susan St. James has been in all of this? Does no one remember how 9,000% awesome she is??? She's Kate! Or Allie. I forget. Also, Shelley Long was back in the news this week. Two of my favorite people, back in the papers for dubious reasons. I mean... I guess having your family in an air crash isn't dubious. But still.

(2) I love peacocks.

(3) My December is so flippin full of stuff. I have no time to Christmas shop.

(4) This NBC special about Princess Diana is maddening. First of all, I can't believe she's dead. She's so beautiful. Also, Camilla Parker Bowles is a chupacabra. Let's just say it. She's vile. And then there's this guy who sold her confessional tapes!! Not only is he morally poo, but he insists on showing me his calves. So white! UUUUGHHHH. But you know what's NOT white? Ann Curry. I bet she's American Indian. I bet if she killed this guy, she could use every part of his body for some practical purpose. I love American Indians.

(5) I love Al Sharpton. I watched him rip Jerry Fallwell and eigth vagina at the gym this evening, and it felt SO GOOD. Fuck you, man of god.

(6) Kate got a guitar. It's blue. She named it Loretta. Aaaaannd... My apartment just became the most awesome madness.

I don't think I can write anymore. If I type any furhter, I'll wear off my fingerprints.

And to top it off.... Joe Iconis. Making out with Katie Sullivan. FIVE YEARS HAVE BEEN GOOD TO EVERYONE. 

ME WITH MY LADIES 

This is me with Pete McNulty. I totally had a crush on him in high school. This is just after he was telling me some story about having sex with this hot girl he met in a gay bar. I think my face says it all. No... My shirt does. 

Marissa was also there. 

This is Tania DeSimone (sp?) and myself. As prom queen, she put the whole shindig together. I don't think it's possible for someone to look more golden. Also, did I mention she won prom queen? Bitch.  

This is my dear friend, confidante, molestor, stylist, and drug dealer, Graziella Brunete-Huneke. In fact, we're such good friends, that I'm almost sure I've misspelled her name. Or any number of words in this sentence. 

Joe on the prowl again... Here, with Krener. I'm pretty sure he's touching boob in this picture. 

Here, DrunkJoe and DrunkKatieSullivan are about to make magic. Don't you think Joe's eyes say "Magic!"? 

This is a picture of my best friend, here drunk. And Joe's rubbing up on her! Snarky. 

REUNITED...AND IT FEELS SO GOOD

Enjoy the following photos of the GCHS class 'o' 99 reunion.
Note that fact that no one is in the room, everyone is @ the bar. I heart GC.
*please note* if anyone feels they were photographed in an unflattering manner; deal with it. please- LOOK at that picture of me and joe!

lovely 

oh yes, shots were a great idea... 

hey-who's that guy next to joe? 

uhhhhhh... 

longest. hangover. ever.

so, maybe when i drove home this morning i was actually still drunk. its a legitmate possability. who knew revisiting high school would be so bemusing?
photos to follow...( most of which show my drunken state. or my bra. or both)
happy turkey day kids

Calling all housewife detectives...

Joe and I are being stalked.
(I just realize that some loyal blog readers may not know who Joe Iconis is. In a nutshell, he's Italian, a dazzling musician, my oldest friend, the most inappropriate person I know, and member of the frickin' coolest family ever.)
Anyway, Joe and I are watching "Desperate Housewives" last night (which he calls "Housewife Detectives"), and not to go into details, but we both believe that our lives are in danger. Leigh is advising me on how to speak calmly with such a person, distracting their eyes with glittery brightness while you prepare keys to jab into their clavicle.

Also, Nicolette Sheridan is SO going to die on that show. Makes me sad. She's funny.

national treasure? 

Deer in the headlights...

The title of this post accurately describes the way in which i have been floating through this day.
Shout Outs: First and foremost, to one Kate Jacobs for actually looking at this site. I beleive the last time I saw Kate, I was chasing after kevin w/ an arsenal of sex toys & lubricants. Also I'd like to give props to Valium, with out which I never would have survived my MRI this morning (hence the whole deer-in the headlights thing)according to the FDA it not safe for me to operate heavy machinery,nor to eat grapefruit. I say scurvy is a small price to pay for remaining calm while in a tube.
Shout Downs: To my living room, which suffering from holiday personality disorder. It has xmas lights and tinsel, as well as a giant pumpkin, gourds and indian corn. I need to work on that...

Shock & Awe

So I'm talking to my dear friend Kate "Steve Buscemi" Jacobs yesterday, and she compliments me for having such fun (and in my own words, "hideously-honest") photos up on this here Blog. Well, it took me by desert storm, as I didn't know that Leigh Somerville was such a little techie. AWESOME JOB, LEIGH. You get the biggest Shout-Out of the day for figuring out a very simple computer thing that I could not.

In your honor, some shout-outs and shout-downs for today, Sunday Nov. 21st...

SHOUT-OUTS: Susan Sarandon for being so excellent in "Stepmom"; the Dunkin Donuts on 26th and 2nd for being so efficient this morning; the man in Gap who said he liked my sneakers; Reza Jacobs for buying me drinks on Friday night as if I were his mistress; Pedro Almodovar for making a FUCKING BRILLIANT MOVIE.

SHOUT-DOWNS: Amy Pohler for maybe being married to that guy who plays Gob on "Arrested Development" (I want him to be Mine); that Chinese Man who kicked my foot in Club Monaco; Club Monaco in general; Mike Ettannani for shopping at Club Monaco; the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd and 10th for being out of iced coffee cups (are you frickin' serious?!?!?!?); Condoleezza Rice.

Well, I'm off to try on the clothes I just bought and cry. Good night, all.

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Sexy-Ass Bloggers 

teenagemutantninja hunger 

drunk & confused is HOT 

Buck Up, Manganaro

we will not give up. in the grand tradition of our friendship, will we tlak this blog up, and we will devote painstaking hours to it- until be get bored, and then we'll deny its existence.

Buzzkill Somerville.

Wait...
Now that I've seen Mara's blog (http://www.gavinnewsomishot.blogspot.com/), I realize that we're embarking on a hopeless tragedy. There's no way we can be funnier than that. Hey Leigh... Wanna give up?

why I will flunk out of graduate school

I am so certain this is going to have a negative effect on my GPA. this blog will accomplish the following : no one in Manhattan will recieve their holiday theatre tickets in a timely manner. Leigh will never finish her power point presentations and her 40 page personal philosophy of education. suffer the little children,

This is so totally GAY.

OK So Leigh and I wanted to start a blog. This is both because Leigh's roomate Mara has a funny blog, and because I want to acquire media clout. So we can one-up this lovely girl and I can become a mogul. All with one wild distraction from the boundless work I have to do today.

Uuummm... So yeah. This backdrop is called "Thistledown Rose," I think. Which is pretty hilarious.

Leigh? Your thoughts?