it's officially summer- and I'm officially blogging.

Hey there Kids.

Today was the longest day of the year and it was a lovely one.

The Gayrab and I spent the solstice having one of those urban vacation days. We went to Pastis for our beloved French '75 (I know. Pastis. You're rolling your eyes. But I swear we starting going there well before Carrie Bradshaw & co. made it a thing.) I don't know how it's possible, but when one mixes champagne and gin, they become almost refreshing.

Then we took a trip... to Water Taxi Beach. 

First of all, it requires a 

Water Taxi. How novel. After what seemed like a brisk four hours of sunning ourselves on the Hudson, we arrived. There was sand. There was a bar. There were... some interesting people.

After an extended interlude on the dock (and

 legitimate fears that were about to be stranded in Long Island City) we boarded our second water taxi of the day and watched the sunset before dining at South Street Seaport. (Just when you were done judging us on Pastis!) It was sunny and perfect and I never see New York from the water, it looks all shiny and happy. I wanted to cue the theme from Working Girl...

Summer Breeze...Makes Me Feel Fine....

Please Note: this post is a response to Kevin's. (see below)
Unlike my co-blogger, I like the rest of the population wait with bated breath for the mercury to rise. I love summer. Now that I am leaving the sweltering, humid, tourist-ridden inferno that is the the District of Columbia in July- I'm going to love it even more! I'm going to be near the ocean again! Hurrah!Though please let me firmly state, I will NOT be dressing like Mischa Barton. I have taste. And Facial Expressions.
5- Pirates of the Caribbean: Um, this is certainly NOT in my top five. I loved the first one- but honestly- the 2nd one was- how shall I put this? NOT GOOD. Scoff all you want, I'm replacing this with Harry Potter. Though I do enjoy Johnny Depp...
4- The True Colors Tour-
My phone phone really does ring to Erasure. Oh how I love them. I will suffer through hours on end of mesh tank tops to hear those boys sing. If they sing STOP! I might die. And I wonder why the majority of my male friends are gay... even the gays might not know that song. Le Sigh.
3-The Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
This has to be The Black Widow's year, right? I mean, Kobayashi has to lose eventually. I really love Coney Island. For both the Steeple Chase and the Custard. And the cross-section of America which it attracts. This is also the first 4th of July in 4 years upon which I do not have to serve Stars and Stripes Margaritas and Burritos. Wheeeeeee.
2-Kevin's Birthday
First of all, I'm 26 and I've live to tell the the tale. Second, Kevin's birthday is not just fun for Kevin, it's fun for all! (though I think his post may be the first and last time anyone refers to him as "badass", no?) The first time I celebrated Kevin's birthday was 1997; and I had just gotten off a plane from Bavaria. I got him an asparagus cookbook in German. Cut to last year: I know this is not the cultural touchstone it once was (shame on you America)- but who wouldn't want to be friends with Kevin after they saw THIS:
Am I right, or am I right?
1-MONTAUK- oh god, I truly can't wait. The Beach. The pancakes. The Margarita in a Bucket. The funny thing is Kevin loves the beach, but remains truly terrified of the ocean. At least once a year he interrupts my singing-to-Justin-Timberlake-while-reading-trashy-magazines-and soaking-in-the-vitamin-D solace to grip my arm and yell "OH LEIGH- They are SO FAR. this makes me NERVOUS!" and the we watch our friends splash in the waves until they return, when Kevin starts breathing again. True Story about Montauk: I once promised everyone that if they would go to the pool with me then Cynthia Nixon would be there: And she WAS. (wearing birkenstocks and a cover-up from Chicos no less) It's a seaside wonderland.
-L

Cruel, Cruel Summer

This past weekend was New York's first real chance to stetch its legs, throw open its windows, and drink in the merciful warmth of summer. It was high-70s/low-80s for two or three days in a row, and the fashions shifted (apparently everyone this summer will dress like Mischa Barton- You heard it here first), the moods improved, and everyone set their minds on the coming few months to be fun and delightful.

Well, not me. I hate summer. I god damn motherfucking HATE summer. It's hot, I'm uncomfortable constantly, I don't tan well, and I basically never stop sweating until Thanksgiving. I know that heat and sun and pollen feel nice to, like, 90% of people, but I ain't one of them. I'm a fan of snow, rain, and biting wind. Needless to say, this first weekend of what, for me, amounts to crippling discomfort has left me a little peeved. In order to try and lift my spirits during this heinous time of year, I decided to make a list of the five most exciting things that will happen between Memorial Day and Labor Day 2007:

5) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End May 25th
The conclusion to the greatest trilogy in movie history- suck it, you fucking Hobbits- has me so excited that I might get on line at the Union Square Stadium 14 right now. Look at this photo of Chow Yun Fat. I'm going to pass out. Seriously. I need to go in costume.

4) The True Colors Tour June 18th
My dear friend Matt the Great has thankfully spearheaded the attendance effort of what will be the gayest concert of all time, bar none. Radio City will be awash in gin, poppers, and sleeveless t-shirts. (Most thrilling part? My dashing co-blogger, she who loves Erasure so much that she made it her ringtone, will be there too!)

3) The Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest July 4th
OMFG!! The rematch between Takeru Kobayashi and Joey Chestnuts?!?!?! I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. (Backstory- Last year, there was this weird xenophobic tension about the reigning champ, who happens to be Japanese, barely eeking out a victory over the American challenger. It was really odd, and the Roommate got into a fight regarding her sun parasol, and then Katie got into a fight with some toothless woman at the ATM. It was a heady day.) Also, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas. I miss her so bad. I can't wait to be sweltering in the heaven of Stillwell Avenue.

2) My Birthday August 17th
Pro: I love to be the center of attention.
Con: I'm turning 26.
Pro: I am totally badass and any chance to raise a glass to me should be taken with relish.
Con: TWENTY GOD DAMN SIX. OH MY FUCKING JESUS.
Pro: Superbad comes out on my birthday, and it looks (pause for emphasis) Deeeeelightful.
Con: Oh my god. I'm turning 26. Oh my god. I have acheived nothing. I need a drink. Oh, holy fuck.

1) Montauk Every chance I get
While I am a cynical, hard-bitten cunt when it comes to the summer months, there are truly few pleasures in life as kick-ass as taking the crew out to Montauk for a long weekend. Somewhere between rum in the gazebo, lobsters on the pier, and panic in my heart as assholes go too far out in the ocean, I stop minding that the sun is inserting tiny vials of melanoma into my body, and I have a totally amazing, inspirational time.

All right. That's all I have to say. I'm perspiring. I'm going to ice myself down. I'll be myself again when it dips below 40.
xoxo KEVIN