Monday, June 25, 2007

In the name of love...

This Sunday everyone was showing their Pride.
After a lovely brunch, (which featured a table across from Jon Stewart- being a super attentive, adoring father-aww) we went our seperate ways...
The boys went off to celebrate their love of...well, boys. They attended the parade in high spirits and unplanned yet strikingly similar ensembles:

Meanwhile, Kate and I had other plans. We showed our love of Brooklyn by attending a street fair featuring a cheese eating contest, Marty Markowitz, and food that came on sticks...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I see 'em...


I see your dang True Colors.

I'm sorry it's been so long since Monday, when I saw the epic, life-changing True Colors Tour at Radio City, and I haven't spoken about the experience. I've been trying to organize my thoughts. It was a lot to process, believe me. I had the privilege of attending with my dear, beloved friends Matt and Nick. It was really, sincerely a lovely event.

OK, so let's go in order of performance...

THE GOSSIP. I have died and gone to queer-punk-disco heaven. I just can't even process how much Beth Ditto's "Hi, I'm a male, homeless version of Janis Joplin" voice wrecks me. She wore this purple pleather dress that gave her rolls in every conceiveable place. She's the hotness. I'm obsessed. So check it: The Gossip, following their spectacular performance, was having a meet-and-sign in the downstairs lounge, so I went down, got their CD, complimented them, etc. They are literally Garbage Pail Kids. Scabs. Little bits of paper stuck to them. Sweat. Dirt. Yay!! Love 'em!!

THE DRESDEN DOLLS. Uuumm, I kind of don't get it.

DEBBIE HARRY. The clear winner, surprisingly, for "Most Controversial True Colors Tour Appearance," she didn't hew to traditional Blondie crowd-pleasin' classics, and instead opted for her past and present solo material. (Note to disappointed gays: She's appearing as herself, not as Blondie. You wouldn't expect any of the other acts to sing Blondie songs, so leave her alone. Also, if you're a real fan of someone, you don't go see them just to hear shit you already know. Suck it.) Her dancing skills are truly badass.

ERASURE: Oh motherfucker, hold me. Magic. Dancey, insane magic. Spectaaaaaacular back-up singers. "A Little Respect" was a bombastic crowd-pleaser.

CYNDI LAUPER: The lady of the hour opened her set with "Hole In My Heart (That Goes All the Way To China)," which is SO fucking obscure and amazing, and naturally is a favorite of mine. She sang this song wearing a Pride flag version of one of those rice paddy farmer hats. I was BLOWN AWAY when she launched into "Goones R Good Enough"- She never, never sings it. Ever. It was just for me. It was a gift. And then she dedicated "I'm Gonna Be Strong" to her late aunt, who had passed away the night before. Shifting between hilarious and touching, Cyndi was... Ugh, just the best. Better than usual. Perfection.

I am full and pride. Really and truly, have a smashing PRIDE everyone!!

xoxo KEVIN.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Joe-verheard In New York...

Dunkin' Donuts throughout the city can be locales full of magic, deliciousness, and occasionally great humor. That's what Joe- longtime friends of this blog and roving reporter on the coffee/whiskey beat- discovered while in a Manhattan Dunkin' Donuts this weekend.

Joe's report:

A VERY THIN MAN, to his very thin man friend: "I mean I thought James was gonna Pass Out. I mean, he couldn't even sit up straight in one of those fabulously upholstered high-back chairs."

Wait, and now: "I know NOTHING about him. All I know is, he did a bump of coke and a swallow of Bailey's and helped me buy tickets to the Flamenco Festival."


Happy Pride, everyone.

xoxo KEVIN.

PS- Speaking of Pride, the True Colors Tour is happening tonight. TONIGHT!! I may pee myself. A full report will come tomorrow.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Hot Child in the City

So, I'm finally in Brooklyn- and I am super happy about it. While I truly miss my kids in the district; it is nice to be in real actual New York again. Last night there was a boisterious welcome from the crew; where it was discovered that (quite unlike real life) I am an amazing Wii bowler. Good times were had by all...except for one resident of Cumberland Street who is not; shall we say, feeling the love...
Frankie infact is so displeased by the Gayrab and I that he has taken to shredding the carpet at night and may or may not be in the midst of a hunger strike. I have answered this behavior by trying to pet him a lot and sticking a Febreze Noticeables next to his litter box. In other news, I actually went to the gym, and then; I kid you not - there was a Mister Softee truck parked ACROSS THE STREET from my apartment. I am such a sucker for Ice Cream trucks! SIGH.
-Leighthal

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Paging the Oscars...


So 2007 has already been pretty kick-as as far as film performances from actresses. We've had the legendary Julie Christie in Away From Her, the ass-shattering Zoe Bell in Grindhouse, and my new life partner Leslie Mann in Knocked Up. But last night Roommate and I took in what I imagine must be the most staggering performance we'll see this year- one of Kevin's personal deities, Ashley Judd, tackling an amazing role in the film adaptation of one of Kevin's favorite-ever plays, Bug. Really, go see it. Truly.


Here, wait. I'll let the once-great-but-now-completely-irrelevant Roger Ebert do the talking. He managed to (shock!) sum it up quite nicely:


"Ashley Judd's final monologue is a sustained cry of nonstop breathless panic, twisted logic and sudden frantic insight that is a kind of behavior very rarely risked in or out of the movies. It may not be Shakespeare, but it's not any easier."


So yeah. If I can use whatever cultural sway this glamorous blog has to get Ashley Judd a much-deserved Oscar, I'll be a happy aphid.


xoxo KEVIN.

Monday, June 11, 2007

You can't take a picture of this, it's already gone...


So the Tonys were on last night. BLAH BLAH BORING WHO CARES.
The real story, obviously, is the demise of the greatest show in the history of television, a show so flawlessly done, so ambitious in its scope and incisive in its writing that it elevated the way America interacted with the medium of TV. The Sopranos ended its run last night with what I would consider to be an artistic masterstroke, a refusal to cowtow to traditional expectations. Simply put, even after all these years, David Chase still isn't ready to sell out.
That's my take on it anyway. The majority of people (read: assholes) seem to have had a slightly different reaction, and are calling for the next American Revolution. James Gandolfini may get burned at the stake because they didn't get what they imagined a tied-up-in-a-pretty-bow ending looked like. Whatever. These are the same voices we've heard bitching about everything that's go on over the last two seasons of calm and stasis. Bottled-up tensions played close to the vest? That's heaven on Earth for me, but people might have different priorities, I guess. They want the guns. They want the explosions. They want the death. (Though Phil Leotardo's death on last night's episode was classic Sopranos gruesome hilarity.)
I'm of the mindset- really decidedly so, actually- that viewers got their death. I really don't see a scenario in which what we saw in that last cut to black wasn't Tony's death. (Though as Roommate points out, "If he didn't die then, he'll just keep looking over his shoulder until he does die.") The first shot of the episode was Tony in bed, looking eerily like he was laid out in a funeral home. And in the final scene in the diner- Home of the best onion rings in New Jersey, by the way- every time the door opened, we got Tony's POV as the person entered. (We got it for Carmela, AJ, that biker woman, and that sinister guy who I think did Tony in.) So Meadow finally parks, we hear the chimes, and- Black. Because that's what Tony sees.
And I also just want to submit David Chase for some sort of Nobel Prize, because in one cut to black he gives you the hidden thesis of the whole show: While Tony's spent close to ten years wracked with guilt and issues and paranoia and dreams and obsessions and lust and nonsense... Bam. Cut to black. That's it. It just stops. The real thesis, which is pretty ballsy for a show that tackled such a panoply of subjects, is that nothing it's ever depicted matters. Carmela and Tony have had their stream of religious crises, but in the end, it just cuts to black. No pearly gates, no saints in faggy outfits.
Even Journey stops playing.
xoxo KEVIN.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Taking Stock of Kevin's Mind.


Hey all- I know it's been a while. Sorry. Work has been busy, and various social events have pulled from one end of Strong Island to the next. Blah. ANYWAY. Lots of shit has gone down, so let's dish:


1. Paris Hilton is in jail. I was on the subway today, and there was an editorial cartoon- In the Daily News, I think- that featured a jailbird Paris doing that thing where people count their days in jail with chalk on the wall. She'd drawn three lines, and the caption was "This is as far as I ever got in math." Truly, is that necessary? Is that truly, honestly needed? I mean... She's in jail. C'mon. She didn't bomb a country, unprovoked. Priorities. Let's not be immature and mean.


2. Gay people are the greatest people ever. I know this is gonna sound reeeeeeeeally faggy, but I lost my glasses while disco dancing at Splash on Sunday. As a Disco Tea regular, I should have been known the dangers of the dancefloor. But no. Roommate, Leigh, and I searched valiantly for a looooooong time, but to no avail. I was kind of down on myself, and down on the gays who had stolen my specs. But Larry, the greatest bartender in the world (He calls me "Tanquerary & Tonic"!!), found them and had them waiting for me. Pride Month could not be off to a better start.


3. Go see Knocked Up. Leslie Mann in this movie. Oh my god. She's Madeline Kahn meets Joan Cusack meets Amy Sedaris. Awards. Oh my god. Epic. Perfection.


4. You know the bridge of "Beast of Burden"? Well, I sing it really well. One discovers so many fascinating things about oneself when one is left alone in an office all day.


Is anyone else excited about summer?? Me neither.

xoxo KEVIN.
PS- Re: What you see when you click on my name, is anyone else unbelieveably excited for the Sopranos finale?? What's going to happen?? Last week's was UH-MUH-HAY-ZING!

Monday, June 04, 2007

A Postcard From Lawn-Guy-Land.

Dear Readers-
Sure there are beaches, malls and endless diners-but we have discovered the perfect way to spend a Saturday Evening on La Isla Bonita. Get in your car. Drive to the Ralph's Ices in Franklin Square [reccommended flavors: Cremesicle and Malibu Bay Breeze] and take a romantic stroll around the grounds of THE SANDCASTLE. Trust us, it's magic.

XOXO - Kevin & Leigh

Friday, June 01, 2007

REALPOLITIK

Kevin: Who the fuck is Fred Thompson?

Gayrab:All I know is that, since he's played the president, he thinks he can be the president.

K:Is he really on Law & Order? Can my beloved Hargitay run for president? I'm sorry, but I think a Clinton-Hargitay ticket would (a) be the greatest thing that ever happened to this world, and (b) the worst thing to ever happen to my donatable income.

K:Chris Meloni, obviously, would be Secretary of My Interior. BO-DANG.

G: HE WAS IN CHINA BEACH. I AM VOTING FOR HIM.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000669/

Leigh: Um, he was also responsible for HARRIET MEYERS. anyone remember that debacle? For every "China Beach" there is a "Baby's Day Out"

K: If "Baby's Day Out" is a liability, then I'm moving to Canada.
"No bib. No crib. No problem." - That NEEDS to be his campaign slogan!!

L: Well, his DA Branch on L & O is alll sorts of Pro-life- thats al I'm saying.
Also, what if it was an All- L & O cabinet? Ice-T for secretary of defense!

G: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You had me at Meloni. (MMM. He FINE.)