Happy Memorial Day

HEY EVERYBODY- Wahooooooooooooooooooo!! Kickoff to summer! WHEEEEEEEEE!
Oh my god. Beach season is upon us. Montauk, here I come. I am SO ready for it, especially since I've just been notified that a certain red-headed Emmy winner is to be the new neighbor.
Can I go, like, EVERY weekend? We'll find out, won't we? GAZEBO, HERE I COME.

Anycrap... This weekend, for me, has been a sea of: cocktails, Jane Fonda, outdoor walks, sketchy Brooklyn, novelty t-shirts, "The Pop Room," and roller skating. Oh, and sailors. DO NOT forget the sailors!! Hollaaaaaaaa.

I don't get that show Laguna Beach... Is it scripted or not?

QUOTE OF THE DAY- "It's so hard to find peace and quiet anymore... you know, since the Industrial Revolution." HA HA.... Oh, fuck you. It's funnier when Ellen Degeneres says it.

Uh huh. This my shit.
KEVIN :-)

Chemical Dependency Friday

Memorial Day Weekend is here!! YEAH!! Freedom- Gotta love it. That's a nice idea, but too bad that I'm not free. I'm FAR from free. I have developed three very serious, very nagging addictions that will likely consume my sanity before May is over. They are, in suspense-filled countdown order:

#3- CHRISTINA APPLEGATE

I'm addicted to her like: Poppers.

I don't know what seals the deal more- the fact that she's the most gifted star from another medium to come to Broadway maybe ever, or the fact that people seems to genuinely dislike her. I mean, Denzel? Fuck off. Billy Crystal? Blow me, jerkwad. This chick RULES, and she is totally the real deal. I can't even imagine how many times I clutched or punched poor Mike, who sat next to me and absorbed all my excess appreciation. She sings like a pro, she dances like a dream, and she builds such a CHARACTER. Anyone who doesn't love her, or tries to give the Tony to anyone else can just die. For true.

#2- 70's Soft Piano Rock

I'm addicted to it like: Box Wine.

This is specifically referring to Laura Nyro, who I discovered when our friend Princess gave Kate a CD for her birthday. She wrote "Wedding Bell Blues," so I have no idea why she's not on Mount Rushmore or better. That's SO much better than freeing the slaves, or fathering children by them, or whatever those guys did who are on it now. Anyway- She rocks. "Sweet Blindness" is pure 70's easy listening magic. This has led me back to Carole King, of course, which has led me back to memories of summer night spent grass-high in the back of a VW van. Oh... Wait. I wasn't even born in the 70's. GOD DAMN FUCKIN TIMELINES.

#1- The Season Finale of Lost

I'm addicted to it like: Coffee

Coffee. Yes, coffee. It's like a jolt of caffeinated elecricity. This show has redefined "cliffhanger," by not only leaving and deepening the existing mysteries, but adding new ones!! So if I'm ever stranded on a mysterious island, I'll know to watch out for baby-snatching French weirdos, invisible monsters that may or may not make noises similar to ferris wheels, and sinister fishermen who want to steal my magical black baby. All this and Bob Marley references. No wonder I've been glued (literally... ow) to the ABC message boards since Wednesday. OH ALSO- If anyone has any ideas about the significance of the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, let me knoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

So that's my life right now. Hopefully, I'll resolve some of the above issues this weekend. Not likely. ABC's re-broadcasting the Lost finale, and "Big Spender" is bound to come on my iPod's truffle shuffle. Oy. Oh well.

:-)

SEASON FINALE ROUND-UP

Wednesday, May 25th is a day of several milestones:
a) I'm REALLY nauseous.
b) It's rainy.
c) Ismail Merchant died. HOW SAD! I loved his gay, gay, costumey, costumey movies.
-but mainly-
d) Lost has its finale tonight.

In celebration of Lost, which I think by anyone's account is a balls-the-the-fourth-wall AWESOME serial drama, taking its summer vacation after tonight's show, let's take a look of some of this season's rockingest Season Finales....

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES- As someone who was famously (and audibly!) fed-up with this show, which reeeeeeeeaally took a prominent dive after their last well-written episode (the one where Bree's son was neckin' nekkid in the pool with that kid), even I need to admit that the finale kicked ass. I mean, everyone saw all of Mary Alice's secrets coming, but it was still cool to see (Brenda Strong rules, right?). Mike kidnapping Paul, and then letting him live? Fascinating. Susan being held hostage by a now-unhinged Zach/Dana? Cliffhanger-fabulous! Gabrielle perjuring herself at her husband's trial? Lame. (I'm sorry, it was lame.) Rex DYING??? Although, who says he really died? A very strong assertion among my coworkers is that he faked his death to try and frame Bree for poisoning him (or so he thinks). But- oh my jeebus- THE best plotline for next season is Lynette going back to work. Felicity Huffman completely rules. I'm so happy. And Alfre Woodard!! New secrets!! BLACK SECRETS!!
GRADE (out of 10): 8

THE O.C.- Kate has to force me to watch this show, because even though I honestly do love it, I always forget that I do. It doesn't last all week. Thursday roles around, and I'm like "Uuuugghh... Do I have to watch The O.C. agaaaaaaiiinn?" Luckily, though, the finale ruled hard enough to keep me rivited all summer long. Now, they did this last year as well, with Seth sailing off to escape his home life, but NOW! Now Marissa Cooper is a mankiller! I mean, this is SO much cooler than her being a lesbian. Clearly, though, Trey won't really be dead. He'll be in a coma, and then he'll wake up at an inopportune moment next season. (sigh) What a jerkhole. But yeah, GREAT closing scene, with the gunshot and the slow-mo bleeding, and THAT MUSIC! Can anyone tell me who that was singing? It was like Death By Emo. And then did they try to tell me that it was Ryan Adams?? Puzzling.
GRADE (out of 10): A surprisingly high 8

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE- I know that it's not really a season finale, but they call it that, so I feel free to judge it. A surprisingly sexless Lindsay Lohan (maybe cuz she starved her boobs away???) mad me super-angry. She wasn't even funny in easy sketches like Prince Show. She was OK in the America's Next Top Model sketch, but Maya Rudolph is just such a flippin' genius that everyone else look handicapped. And, as always, Coldplay makes my skin crawl.
GRADE (out of 10): A disappointed 3.

GILMORE GIRLS- I don't know what to say. I don't know how to begin, even. Over this past year, this show has brought me infinite happiness. I have such genuine affection for Lauren Graham, it's like she's my 2nd roomate (one that I actually like!). This episode BROKE. MY. HEART. When Richard and Emily turned on Lorelai, siding with Rory about quitting Yale, I mean... I... I wanted to cry. I'll even forgive Tivo for murdering those last moments because when I finally did see them, IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. (swoon)
GRADE (out of 10): 75

And so I have the highest expectations for Lost. They have a lot to work with- scheming Korean wife, creepy French survivalist, haunted black boy, shirtless Sawyer, haunted overweight hispanic with a penchant for numbers... IT'S ALL SO COOL. And that hatch... that hatch...

:-)

I've neglected this blog, almost as if it were a baby I left on top of a car in the parking lot and then drove away. Or, worse yet, a latte.

Did you ever have one of those fortnights where you totally forget that you have a blog, and then Sara Fitzpopstar reminds you over salads at the Renaissance Diner? Man, am I coming down off of one of those. But I've missed you, Blog, and I promise to never neglect you again.

YES LEIGH, Joe did graduate. I didn't actually go to his graduation, but I presume he earned a magna cum laude. You know, the middle word in that is "cum"? Gross.

In TV news....
-I don't know how lame the WB can possibly get, but for those of us who live in the 21st century and Tivo Gilmore Girls, we got the unplesant treat of having the last minute of the season finale cut off. Aaahh, low-rent TV stations. Awesome. Luckily though, the show was amazing and Lauren Graham has cemented her place in the pantheon of My Favorite Actresses Ever.

-Lost frickin' rules. That little black boy is so scary!!

-So they cancelled Judging Amy, huh? I bet somewhere, someone cares.

-Yo, The Sopranos hasn't been on in like a year. That makes me feel diabetic.

ALSO- TDI Karaoke Strikes Back is coming really soon. I've been promised some Matt Kupchin mic time for "Total Eclipse." McRock and I are totally looking forward to it, so full steam ahead, y'all!!

ALSO AGAIN- I'm sitting at my desk today, and Paul Wontorek totally got interviewed by that Botoxy CBS news anchorwoman. I can NOT remember her name for the life of me. I keep wanting to call her "Dana Charles," but that's nobody's name, which is sad, because WHAT A NAME. Anyway, he got interviewed like 2 feet from my desk, and it was totally campy. Good times.

So I hear that Star Wars movie opened. I guess some people like that stuff?

May the Zbornak be with you.
KEVIN :-)

A TOAST...

To Kevin & Leigh's Sexy-Ass Blog's resident musical genious (and everyone's favorite hairy Italian) Joseph P. Iconis, who today graduates: Dearest Joe- We are so proud of you for getting your Masters Degree! Congratulations! Well Done! Bravo! Now hurry up and get famous so we can ride your coatails...

guess who has a master's degree? 

"Entertainer Joan Rivers Included in Capitol Hill Evacuation" ("Access Hollywood" release)

And thats all you really need to know.
Cable News was actually stalking me yesterday. Not only was my apt featured on CNN; Tortilla Coast (as a back drop for panicking staffers) made a cameo on Fox News. Or so I've heard. I certainly don't view such smut.
"I saw Loretta Sanchez go screaming by at about a buck-eighty" -- Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-MA) (Boston Herald)
Ok, back to season one of Dawson's Creek. Which really, back in like '97 was a rather fab show. The whole Pacey-Teacher Scandal? Perfection.

"Leigh, Stop Trying to Pull The Gin Over My Eyes"

Speaking to Kevin William Manganaro after a few bad date-induced alcoholic beverages is a DELIGHT.

Ahem. A quick recap of my weekend:

• updated summer wardrobe while debating "France Aprapo fashion" (read: eurotrash)
• discovered that is a law that you can no longer smile in your passport photo. Considered renouncing citizenship for the millionth time since november of 2000.
• Crash=Magnolia wannabe, however I fully support most anything involving Don Cheadle. Had drinks at Harry's at the Hotel Harrington and watched a post-prom fashion parade. (Side cutouts on a prom dress=slutastic ensemble when matching w plastic stilletos)
• saw unsuspected patrons get water ballons dropped on them from 8 stories above
• saw a manhole cover with a light coming from it at 1:45 am, followed by a lesbain-only dance party at Union station complete with giant glittery disco ball
• fell in love with my new grocery cart. (Need to carry a full gallon of calcium fortified tropicana 23 blocks? no problem!)

In bigger news...
The Capitol was evacuated today!!!Guess who works around 150 feet away from there??? Chaos ensued involving a few hundred staffers wandering confused outside the coast, followed by sightings of my apartment on CNN. SIGH i heart dc???

A litte pre-Weezer, pre-Philly venting.

First of all, 8 hours and 45 minutes til WEEZER. That right there is all you really need to know about how I'm doing today. I want to touch Rivers Cuomo tonight. That's all I'm saying.

So some things:
-"California Girls" truly is a great song.
-I'M SEEING DONNA SUMMER AT JONES BEACH!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
-According to the New York Times, sexual preferences may lie in the portion of the brain that processes smells and pheramones. Clearly, Mike and I are now renaming our band The Gay Smells. Our first single? "Bear Claw."
-People I hate today: Laura Bush and Ray Romano. Equally.
-I'm kind of indifferent to the Tony nominations, but one thing I am NOT indifferent to is the photo slideshow in the Times article about the nominations. I highly suggest that you all check it out. It's nothing but people looking surprised (Sutton Foster), ebullient (Victoria Clark), or Kathleen Turner (Gary Beach).
-Paris Hilton= E.T.

Ok. Rock, rock, rock. Later.
KEVIN :-)