"It Looks Like A Chinchilla"

Now, I am no fan of CNN's Miles O'Brein, but when you're right, you're right.

Labor Day (It's a Holiday)

That, Ladies and Germs is the hopefully the only time I will ever use a black-eyed peas title in this here blog.
Anyway...
As I await the finale of The Closer (no seriously, its good.) I'm bringing us back from a brief summer hiatus . This break included both Snakes on a Birthday and THE road trip; so clearly Kevin has some serious blogging to do. (He's midflight right now, so we'll cut him some slack.) There are many reasons to return to the blog. One month from today, I head to merry old England. Two months from today, America gets to see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. But there are more pressing issues...
On behalf of Kevin & Leigh's Sexy-Ass Blog, I'd like to express our condolences at the news of the death of The Crocodile Hunter. The news is all over CNN, and the Prime Minister of Australia even shed tears at the news. The man who dangled his baby in the mouths of crocs and wrestled all sorts of reptiles, struck down by a Sting Ray? crickey.

Kevin presents an uncharacteristic rant about music.

Happy Madonna's Birthday, everyone! And a blessed one it is.

Speaking of Madonna, and the pop music world that she dominates, I just wanted to give a quick endorsement to an album that I happen to have fallen in love with. I know it's totally uncharacteristic for me to talk about something that's not a movie or a gay-ass play, but Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint's The River In Reverse is without a doubt the best CD you can buy/download (LEGALLY!) this year.

Since we're coming up on the one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina- the inept, totally bungled response to which was an act of terrorism which, committed by the Bush administration mind you, was more damaging than anything that's come out of the Middle East in the past five years- and not only is Spike Lee launching a four-part HBO documentary on the subject, but this great album is one that can help the still-ongoing healing process. I'm mostly moved by it because, while there are several ballads ("Nearer To You" and "All These Things" being the most beautiful), this is an album that really wraps itself in the jaunty, ragtag, fuck-it-let's-all-dance spirit of New Orleans.

"Tears and More Tears," the A#1 awesomest song on the album (and of the year), is a horn-blaring tribute to a great city, and its aim isn't to wallow in self-pity. It's a song that wants you to get up, get mad, and make sure that what happened last summer doesn't happen again. "Who's Gonna Help A Brother," which Allen Toussaint takes all by himself (Smart move!), gives a whimsical, smart-ass edge to the issue of the contemporary poor in America.

OK, I'm going to stop now. BUT BUY THIS ALBUM. You'll adore it. Seriously. And please don't steal music, because it's important for artists (even successful ones) who contribute something constructive to society to be compensated for that. It's always the DE-structive, corporate element that makes the cash! Put the money back in the hands of the people who inspire us! OK. Done. No, really. Done.

OK. Love you all.
KEVIN :-)

PS- I JUST found out that Joe Henry produced River In Reverse. And Joe Henry is married, of course, to... MADONNA'S SISTER. Small effin' world, y'all!

The Ballad of Kevin Wanting To Get It On With Ali G

I saw Talladega Nights- The Ballad of Ricky Bobby this weekend, as it seems many other folks did, and if you were one of the lucky ones who did see it, you know why I just have to say...

SASHA BARON COHEN MOTHERFUCKING RULES MY SCHOOL.

Jean Girard, effete French race car driver and "villain" (I guess?) of the film, emerges from this hi-frickin'-larious movie, as an out of the blue mascot for gay equality. From his first appearance- playing fusion jazz and smoking a slim cigarette- he crystalizes every stereotype of a haughty, elitist fag that stupid, ignorant, ugly red state America believes in. But Talladega, and this is why I fucking love it so FUCKING much, doesn't hold Jean as a target of ridicule- The movie laughs at the attitudes of the other characters towards Jean, who's portrated as smart, symapthetic, and CAPABLE. Ricky Bobby and his crew learn to be scared of Jean! He's so good at what he does that he instills humility in cocky, swaggery America. If you haven't seen it, you MUST. Let's support portrayals of kick-ass gay men in mainstream frat boy movies!

AAAAHHHH! God, I fucking love this flick. Get me the GLAAD Media Awards on the phone, and start engraving Sasha Baron Cohen's name now.

Oh, and the sloppy kiss at the end wasn't too bad, either. Yay!

XOXO, Kevin :-)

PS- Disclaimer: Anchorman is totally still my favorite Will Ferrel movie, mind you, because it starts the only woman I'd ever marry.

PPS- I'd also like to campaign this fine film for the MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss.

From Montauk to Eternity

This weekend Kevin & Leigh (and some of this blog's biggest fans) went beachin' .

This is the most important announcement in ages...

Salma Hayek does NOT have $100 million.

Don't even tease, guys. I mean, she has MONEY. Don't get me wrong. But she doesn't have $100 million. That's crazy. I mean, if Salma had it, Salma would give it.

Her direct quote on the subject: "If I had $100 million I would have retired and would be doing more things on an altruistic level than I can now. I would have opened centers in Mexico for violence against women and many other things."

Got it, Salma. You're not loaded ENOUGH to stop violence against women. Cool beans. (grumble, grumble)

Things Kevin Would Do If He Had However Much Money Salma Hayek Has*:

1. I would open centers in Mexico for violence against women "and many other things."
2. I would donate it here.
3. I would donate it here. (Seriously. And lots of it.)
4. I would have kept HOT FEET running. Forever.
5. I would produce Alec Baldwin a vehicle worthy of his prodigious talents.
6. I would buy a giant hug from Kimya Dawson and drop it over Israel, because they seem to have a killer case of the grumps lately.
7. I would donate to Queen Latifah's Last Holiday Oscar campaign. (Meryl Streep is AWESOME in The Devil Wears Prada, truly colossal, but this is the best performance of the year so far.) (Isn't it shameful how it all comes back to movies??)
8. Two words: Iced coffee. How much do you think I could get for $100 mil?

Anyway, the disclaimer to all of this is that I really do fucking love Salma Hayek. Her Frida nomination was richly deserved, and I'm a slut for her crazy dyke turn in Timecode. That said, if this twat has $500 to her name, she can still toss some homeless dude a ten spot and make the world a better place. I'm totally aware that her words were taken out of context (I'm sure she's v.v. generous), but I'm using them to make a point. And THAT is how Salma Hayek makes a difference. Well, that and Banditas.

Hugs for all,

KEVIN :-)

*Less than $100 million.

Ok, I'm willing to move to the tropics now.

Hybrid chocolate won’t melt in the heat!
Scientists say a cornstarch concoction has that milk-chocolate taste

Cocoa beans lie within a cross-section of a cacao pod. Although tropical countries tend to be the world's biggest cocoa producers, the finished chocolate doesn't stand up to the tropical heat. Now Nigerian researchers have come up with a heat-resistant formula that preserves the milk-chocolate taste.
Most brands of chocolate melt at temperatures between 77 and about 91 degrees Fahrenheit (25 to 33 degrees Celsius).
S.O. Ogunwolu and C.O. Jayeola, food scientists at the Cocoa Research Institute of Nigeria, have mixed cornstarch with cocoa to produce a heat-resistant chocolate that they say compares "favorably with conventional milk chocolate in terms of color, taste, smoothness and overall acceptability."
The starch acts as a chocolate thickener and prevents the outflow of cocoa butter — the natural fat of the cocoa bean — when the heat is on. The researchers found that using 10 percent starch was ideal and produced a product that was comparable to milk chocolate in taste tests.
The new concoction stays firm up to 122 degrees F (50 degrees C).
The recipe is outlined in the current issue of the British Food Journal.

Malan Breton is the new Kara Janx

Nothing has me more excited than the new summer season of Project Runway. Oh how I've missed those trips to the Tresume Hair Salaon and the Loreal Paris Makeup room (and...the Macy's accessory wall?!?) But I digress....

• Malan Breton. (who claims his hometown is...Long Island City. Please. People from Ronkonkoma can spit on you) Someone needs an attitude adjustment mister.
• Jeffery is a poor man's Santino. Models and feathers. High on yourself. We've seen this show before...(Heidi just called it whilst I was typing this) NEXT.
• Keith-if you're going to badmouth Michael Kors AND Nina Garcia, I'm going to scream you out of the television. Even if you made a pretty dress.
• Wait, Banana Republic isn't sponsering the show anymore? que?
• Wait...Vincent puts a bowl on someone's head, and he stays? Oy.
• Honestly, I don't know who to root for yet. I'm two-for-two in picking champs... such pressure. Whatever. Show me Tim Gunn barking at people, and I'm thrilled.

O beautiful, for spacious skies...

Really, the skies are far more spacious from a rooftop.
The fourth was celebrated in DC at the Dupont manor featuring tons of food and drink, dueling nintendo systems, a rooftop grill, an elaborate dumbwaiter system, a rooftop keg, sparklers, and fireworks galore. At somepoint during the fireworks, there were milkshakes featuring chocolate syrup and Jack Daniels.
Cheers to Laura and Angele for a grand celebration of our nation's independance.